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I completely melt when Hans, my husband and soul mate, does something that shows he really knows me. And, like any married woman, I still like to be courted and made to feel special.  When we were dating, Hans used to write me love poems. I found that to be an absolute winner! But his poetry writing tapered off after we were married in 1995. When he asked me what I wanted for my birthday last year, I said: “I already have everything I want. Don’t buy me anything. 'Just' write me a poem.” This really took him by surprise. I could see a slight scowl on his face because he hates doing things “on command.”  Writing a poem must be a spontaneous act. And, mean little me, I knew this, so my request was intended to tease him as well. “Alright,” I backed off, “then surprise me with something, but DON’T buy me anything.”

Well, he did surprise me with something ultimately sweet . . . but I must give you some background first. I used to love to play golf when we still lived in the Netherlands, where both Hans and I grew up and went to school. But since we had moved to New Jersey, I just couldn’t get back into it. I couldn’t find a nice club, other partners to play with, and so forth, and Hans knew I missed the sport. I always thought it was too bad he didn’t even like golf. We could never play it together.

 On the following morning, on my birthday, Hans woke me up with a kiss, and told me he had a little surprise for me downstairs. He disappeared. I quickly showered and dressed and walked downstairs and found a note on the kitchen island with instructions: “Go to the deck and collect your gear.”  To my surprise he had set up my golf bag and clubs on the deck. When I looked around, there were about seven little flags evenly spread over our large back yard. Hans had made me a little golf course!  There were more instructions on a note tied to the bag, with a little map of the course. I was told to hit the ball to “hole #1.” Hans joined me in the game so we could play together for the first time. On top of this sweet surprise, he had a little present awaiting me at all seven holes: the first one had a beautiful little poem he had written by himself; the second, the promise of a foot massage (by him); the third, the promise of a romantic dinner with candlelight; the fourth, the promise we would get a kitten. On it went.  This was the sweetest and best gift I’ve ever received. It offered everything:  Hans’s creative mind, his thoughtful little gestures, all the little gifts that were spot on, the ultimate proof and expression of his love for me!

I was born in Cairo, Egypt, and moved to Ras Al Khaimah, a city in the United Arab Emirates, when I was four years old. I grew up in a very cosmopolitan atmosphere and attended a British curriculum high school with classmates from all over the world—Brazil, Belgium, Lebanon, Norway, South Africa, India, the U.S., and the UK. I had a high school love story with a Lebanese guy named Hesham when I was 16 years old. He was 17.  We dated until he finished high school and decided to move to London to go to college. Here are three things I remember as incredibly sweet:

1)  On Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend left a red rose with a card in my locker at school. The card said, “Happy Valentine’s Day! This rose isn’t all. Wait till tonight. There is more!” Later on that evening he took me out for a candle light dinner. I thought it was really romantic.”

2)  Once I was talking to Hesham late at night on the phone and he said, “I miss you. Could you please look out from your room’s window?”  I did and there he was looking up at my window and he said, “You know, I love you.” It was amazing.

3)  When he arrived in London for college, the first thing he did was pick up his phone and call and say, “I really miss you” and cried. I felt his love for me.

Alas, the long distance relationship was difficult to maintain and we broke up. We are still friends though, and he calls when he comes home every Christmas. One of the reasons why we broke up, apart from the distance, is that he is a Lebanese-Christian and I am an Egyptian-Muslim. Both of us are Arabs. But Arab society as a whole would not accept a relationship or marriage between a Christian guy and a Muslim girl.

I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, and moved to Houston 15 years ago to practice law. I make a good living in civil litigation, and have no need for a man to support me financially. I know a lot of women want that financial security, but that’s not for me. I just want a partner, a friend, and a lover—but finding that combination has been a hard thing. Here’re a few of my favorite things that guys do:

1. I love it when a guy brings over a bottle of wine before a date. It just means he wants to sit down, unwind, and visit before you rush out to dinner. A glass of wine is especially nice early in a relationship when you’re still a little stiff and nervous. You go out to dinner in a better mood. The last guy I went out with would bring over a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon before every date. It was one of the most considerate, thoughtful things I could imagine.
2. There is nothing more attractive than a man who listens. Most men get a rap for doing all the talking. They love to talk and tell women about themselves. And that’s nice. You want to hear about the man. A really great guy, a very self-confident guy, is one that can step back and focus on the woman and listen to the woman … not to just pretend to listen, but to really, really listen. 
3. One other thing I love is when a guy takes the ball and makes plans. Not just half-ass plans. Not just “Let’s go to dinner, but where do you want to eat?” Or, “Let’s eat Mexican, but where do you want to go?” Or, “Let’s eat Italian, but what time do you want to go?” No, he plans the night, picks the restaurant, and even decides on the dress code. I certainly don’t expect this every time. I don’t want someone controlling and bossy. But, every so often, it’s wonderful when a guy takes control and plans everything and says, “This night is about you.”

A man can make my head swoon by doing three things:

1) Surprise me with something I like! If a man pays attention to what I say, he’ll figure out the things I like or don’t like.
2) Do something you normally wouldn’t do, just because you know I will love and appreciate it. Example: Even if you think giving flowers are lame, bring at least one to me once in a while!
3) Make me feel gorgeous! Like, if I do my hair, you should compliment me. Also, when you notice I do something for you, you should genuinely appreciate it.

Here're things men do that drive me, and I'm sure many of my female friends, crazy in a good way:

1. They never plan but things work out okay anyway. If a woman did that she would not get a dinner reservation at the last minute, mess up her presentation, not be able to find baby formula at the destination, etc.
2. Can charm their way out of situations.
3. Can change a tire in an instant. And not break a nail or ruin their clothes. Or cry.
4. Can ask for the manager and get actually their attention and results without being "bitchy".
5. Can fall asleep in an instant no matter what the stress level is at work. 
6. Are okay wearing dirty clothes or wearing pants twice. 
7. Look cute with messed up "bed" hair.
8. Can pack light for a trip effortlessly. 
9. Can carry all of their own carry-on luggage without needing assistance.
10. Don't need clean public restrooms. 
11. Don't need water and therefore do not need restrooms.
12. Do not have to carry purses and can go 24 hours without kleenex, lip balm, powder, nail file, etc.
13. Do not have to spend time/money on makeup, salons, facials, manicures, expensive shoes to look good.
14. Can walk fast when dressed up for the theater. 
15. Always know what to wear to a theater or an event--either a tux or a suit.
16. It's okay to show up at a formal event wearing something that matches all the other men. For woman that is a nightmare. 
17. You figured he was not listening and then actually bought you just the things you had mentioned once, three months ago.

I am sure there are more!