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I grew up in Sugar Land, Texas, and lived in Los Angeles for ten years, and Miami for two and a half years, before moving back to Houston six months ago. I guess you could describe me as an attractive brunette with an athletic build. I’m outgoing, gregarious, a lover of life. I’m alone often because I travel. I’ll strike up a conversation with a man just as quickly as I would with a woman. (A lot of men think I’m hitting on them. I’m not. I’m just looking for a conversation.  That’s my biggest gripe about the opposite sex.)
    
I’d suggest these three subjects at the beginning of your book: 1) Seek, 2) Conquer,  3) Succeed.  

Chapter 1 – Seek

Men today still rely on their primeval instincts. Men are warriors. They’re cavemen. They seek prey, and often that prey is a woman. A man must find her, conquer her through courtship, and then keep her as his mate or wife. You should start your book with how a man should approach a woman. Personally, I like the direct approach. I admire a man who takes the initiative.  A lot of men are afraid to. The task almost seems annoying to them.   

Some years ago I was on a business trip in San Francisco. I sat in the Marriott Hotel bar waiting for a client to meet me for a beer. I was with a colleague, a lady. We munched from a basket of popcorn. This gentleman seated near us from Chicago said:  “Isn’t the popcorn great here!” We thought that was a clever line because he could tell immediately whether we were interested in talking to him or not. We were! I had a broken heart from a relationship and was on the rebound. The gentleman gave us his name and started chatting with both of us. He turned out to be very outgoing and gregarious. We ended up going to dinner and just hanging out with him all night. We had a blast! No, I didn’t have a relationship with him—just a fun night in San Francisco. But the whole thing started with that cute line about the popcorn.

Here’s my advice for men: When you approach a woman, use charm, good eye contact, and be prepared for a good conversation. This approach should always be the same whether you’re meeting women at a restaurant, bar, food store, or at the beach. Also important: Be kind and respectful. Commenting on a woman’s body right off the bat isn’t a good idea. Anything below the neck is off limits! Women are suspicious of come on lines because that doesn’t seem sincere. Anybody can say “you have beautiful eyes and how ya doin’ tonight.” Talk about what’s immediately happening around you—the “food’s super here,” the “music really rocks,” or “the surf is awesome”—and then quickly move to a more substantive conversation.  Men fall in love with their eyes, women fall in love with their ears. Women want to hear something intellectually stimulating, and not be fed shallow things about the way they look.

Women go just about everywhere in pairs for companionship and protection.  If they’re sitting together having a drink or a meal, they know it’s tough for a guy to approach them. You’re putting yourself out there. It takes courage. You could easily be dispatched with a sharp tongue and walk away a wounded bird. If you’re attracted to one of the two women, the best advice is to engage both in conversation. In time, you might be able to focus on the woman you’re interested in. But if you spend too much time with her initially, she might feel her friend is being left out and, due to female loyalty, she’d suggest she and her friend have something else to do. Bye bye buddy.

Chapter 2 – Conquer

So, how does a man win a woman’s interest so he can court her? His initial conversation with her has to offer really good, fresh material. The man can talk about himself some or even current events. But he should quickly turn the conversation to the woman. What are her interests and passions? What’s she thinking about right now, or where’s her life taking her? Expand on the topics she brings up. As a man, you have to prove you’re a good listener.

If you and the woman feel chemistry, go with it. But beware of the woman who jumps right in the sack with you. She can fall out of love with you just as quickly. If you two don’t have chemistry, there’re a couple of options. First, just think of her as a friendly lady and call it a day. Or second, be persistent and try to win her heart. Some women are slow cookers. They need to percolate a little bit. I’ll give you a personal example.

His name is Robert. We were living in Redondo Beach, California. When I first met him, I felt very little attraction for him. Robert was just head over heels crazy about me. He was director of sales for an international company. Because of his sales background, he pursued me relentlessly. He kept calling and asking if we could get together.  He’d send flowers and give me gifts.  He’d look for any excuse of doing business with my company.  He began to grow on me. We’d play golf together. We lived on the beach and went boogie boarding. I ended up dating him a year and then we lived together for another year. I knew, ultimately, I would never marry him (I caught him in some lies), but we sure had fun for a time.  

If you count my high school and college years, I probably dated seven men seriously before I married my husband in 2001. We met in Los Angeles at a business meeting and dated two years before we tied the knot.  His name is Stefan. He’s German and a wonderful man. We have a great partnership. He began to woo me shortly after we met at a business meeting in LA. We were both in the same field—international cargo shipping.  When we started dating, we’d go to a restaurant, be seated, and then he’d say, “Before we go any further, do you have any plans three days from now?” That was the cutest thing—always planning ahead. Stefan was crazy about me. He sent flowers and put together fun weekend trips. I liked that he was Mr. Dependability. If he said he’d show up at 7 p.m., he was always on time.  A lot of men in LA lie. There’re a lot of “slicksters” out there. Like many women, I was looking for a life partner with all the characteristics of a good father. The integrity of Stefan just shined.  And he was intelligent, successful, athletic, and disciplined. 

When Stefan proposed to me, he did it in a very romantic way. He picked me up in his red Porsche like any other date. We weren’t living together. We had plenty of time before our reservation, so we took a leisurely drive up the Palos Verdes mountain with its beautiful cliff-side homes and views of the Pacific. As we took one curve after another on our way up, he said: “You know, Stephanie, life is like this road. It has many twists and turns and unexpected events. You should have a partner with whom to experience these things.” Soon, he stopped the car at a spectacular bluff overlooking the ocean and setting sun. We got out and he said, “I have something for you.” He opened the trunk and pulled out a dozen red roses and handed them to me. I thought, “Oh my gosh, this is wonderful.”  Stefan reached in his coat pocket for a small black box. He then got on one knee. He opened the box, looked me in the eye, and asked, “Will you marry me?” I slipped on the two carat diamond solitaire ring and happily answered, “Yes!” Stefan then uncorked a bottle of champagne. Under a golden sky and with surfers paddling far below, we toasted this most glorious moment in our lives.